Pull the Plug on the "P.C." Police.

I was reading today about the actress Maggie Gyllenhall (SP) who is being blasted and black balled....If a lady can be that.............For saying that she felt the tragic events of 9/11 were partly the fault of the U.S. She didn't say that any of it was a good thing, just that we should not be surprised that it happened.
I agree with her and am rather nervous that what I see as a truthful statement has her in such a mess.
The U.S. has been party to destruction and death all over the world and yet the prevailing view is that 9/11 was an outrage and totally uncalled for. It was a terrible thing that innocent people were killed, yes, and that a nation was left feeling vulnerable and shocked. No one is looking at the fact that we were lucky in the first place to know the difference between a feeling of security and that of alert. Many nations around the world have known little security and the citizens have never felt anything but dread and impending doom. A child born in the Middle East or some African country, may never have known a life without ethnic or religious tensions or terrorism. Until 9/11 a child born in the U.S. grew up thinking that these things were part of someone else's life, not his. Now that we are level with the rest of the world in the knowledge that, yes it can happen to us, we have no right to whine about it being unfair. It is all unfair, innocent lives being cut short, terror in any form, but it happens and we have to deal with it as citizens of the world. I think that it is a rude awakening for us to see ourselves as the rest of the world sees us........We are not a pretty sight.
Here is another thing, while I am on this subject, I am so sick of hearing how wonderful G.W. was after the attacks on 9/11. How he gave his full attention to the situation and has worked ceaselessly for America to feel safe again. Like if we had had anyone else in the White House that someone would have gone on holiday or brushed the issue under the rug. G.W. did nothing heroic, he did what was needed and then he went further and got that outrageous 'Patriot Act' passed without debate.
I stand by Maggie and her words. I think that more of us should speak out on this issue and not be silenced by being told that the truth makes us unAmerican or unpatriotic. Truth, as G.W. and the other holy rollers believe "will set us free".........well, George........isn't it time for you to cry freedom?????

My Crush...Parts 1, 2, 3,4,5,6,7,8 & 9

Part 1:
I have a "crush"A dear friend told me, just this weekend, that we need crushes and now here I am with a delightful little flutter. A crush is a terrible thing to waste, and a wonderful thing to relish.
I met him tonight in the grocery store. I was remarking to my son about the lack of dried mango in the bulk bins. I said that this was a terrible thing as I had just given up chocolate and these were good at satisfying my sweet tooth. He walked by and asked me why I would give up chocolate....he hesitated and then said that he had given it up too. I wanted him to stay and make conversation. Who is he? I know nothing about him. Is he married? He didn't have a ring on.....Yes, I noticed. He checked out and got into a rather uniquely coloured jeep like thingie. I think I will recognise that car again......Hope I see him around.
I love it when someone sparks interest in me......Such potential.....And yet....Maybe nothing at all.

Part 2:
Driving back from town after work this afternoon I saw my "crush" biking along the same road. I pulled in to the grocery store to pick up juice and cheese for the boys when I noticed that he was also heading in to the store. I was aware of my heart speeding up and I tried to act casual. I didn't see him as I went through the isles and then THERE HE WAS....."No chocolate today....?" he said clearing his throat. I got rather tongue tied, (there goes the cool, calm and collected side of me...) "No, no mangoes either, but I did pick up some dates." I replied.
We ended up in the same check out line, seeing a choice, I chose to stand behind him and we got chatting. He remembered me from the work.....That felt good....He recognized me....He asked my name and told me his name........I also realised that I have fancied him before when we have chatted at work but I think that I looked on his account and saw that he is married or with someone....Something that made me not think any more about him.
Outside the store I saw him getting his headphones on and unlocking his bike. I felt compelled to go over and start another conversation. He didn't seem to mind and we chatted for a while about our sons, (he has one who is 17) and his ipod mini and England. I was nervous and felt silly. He has a kind and open face, Irish looking with dark hair and a sparkle in his eyes. Nice hands too. He said that he hoped to run into me some time on the bike path where I run. I left him feeling an extra bounce in my step.
I have a nice feeling about him, even if he is not available or not interested in me, he is charming and made me feel a wonderful flutter that is rare.
So it is true that a crush is a good thing indeed.

Part 3
Things just get more and more interesting for me. Seems that I have met this man before and asked my friends about him.
One friend, whose opinion I value, told me that he had done some work for her, building shelves and such. She said that he was very nice and she was happy that I was interested in him. She also reminded me that I know his son.
Summer is coming and I love to kayak and hike. I would love to have someone in my life to share the fun with.
Hope I see a star tonight to wish upon!!!!

Part 4:
I didn't see the object of my interest today, I was working most of the day and then went to the thrift shop for some retail therapy.
I find myself starting to doubt my feelings. I know how interested I am and how I would like to get to know this person but I have no idea what he is thinking or what his situation is. I guess that when I see him and we chat, the excitement of "potential" is palpable, I can read into what is said and what is heard. It is different if there is no "visual".......If I knew that he felt a spark, any thing at all, then I wouldn't doubt myself.
Last November, when I was in Chicago visiting a friend, I met a man who came on very strong. He said the right things and I felt wonderful. I felt adored and wanted. That is a fantastic feeling. I am the sort of person who gives the impression of strength and "ballsyness" (another new word!) but I am not that strong when it comes to trusting men. I trusted this man in Chicago and was burned for that trust. Now, I don't know if I can trust my heart so I am trying to follow my head, and that takes the fun out of it all. Boy, relationships are very hard. How does one know what the other person is thinking? Ahhhhhhh.
My friend, the lady who knows him, has asked if I want her to invite him to the dance we are going to tomorrow night. I don't really know what to say. What if she mentions that I have asked her about him and that I am interested in him and he says that chatting with me was nice but he has no interest in pursuing anything more. What if my interest is not flattering to him? Maybe he felt no attraction at all. Maybe he is not even looking for someone in his life......maybe he has someone already.
How many times do we meet someone and feel that they are different and exciting, but we don't do anything about it? Life is full of risks, and I need to know if I have a chance of getting to know him........so I will tell her that she can tell him about the dance and about my interest and then I will know either way.
Wish I could see into the future....I am so very nervous at the moment, I don't like the "unknown" because once it is "known" it may not be what I hope for......ah well......stay tuned.

Part 5:

Well, my friend, (what a good, true and loyal, sweet and loving friend she is.) called him and left a message on his machine telling him about the party and that I had mentioned meeting him. That sounds innocent doesn't it? With my luck (oh here I go again, second guessing everything) he is off the island for the weekend and won't get the message so I won't see him and I won't know if it is because he would rather have his finger nails ripped out by pliers than spend time with me, or he just never got the message.

Part 6:
Where to start....I went to the dance this evening with my friend who called him. I was so nervous when we walked into the room thinking that maybe he would be there. We were not there 10 minutes when he came in and thanked her for inviting him. I was trying so hard to be casual and chatty but I thought I was acting like an idiot. He was so close and talking to us.....wow, isn't attraction wonderful. I don't think that he had any idea that I was already crazy about him. The music was great. A band that played 'our' kind of songs. (R&R, and dancable.) I can not explain how terrible I felt when I saw that he had asked another lady to dance and spent the next hour with her. I was chatting with friends and looking over every so often at him. What a joy to see someone who was obviously enjoying himself.......I was dying inside.
I didn't stay there and mope, my girlfriends and I went up and danced in a group.........wish I were not so aware of him.,.......but I was. I kept thinking that I had once again fallen for someone who didn't even know that I exist. I have a voice inside that is destructive and bloody annoying, I try so hard not to listen to it, but sometimes it just rabbits on and on......"you are fat, no one is going to fall for you......everyone is younger and prettier than you"........oh do I hate that voice.
As I stood watching the dancers at one point I was aware that he was beside me. As much as I wanted to get to know him, I think I was a complete twit. We chatted and I even told him that I had "Googled" him...........do you know how embarrassing that is to confess.......talk about being too forward........talk about blurting.
Anyway, he asked me to dance and we did not get off the dance floor the rest of the night. I love the way we dance together. I feel less self conscious then I have in a long time.....he leads and laughs and I felt wonderfully at ease with him. Could my feelings have been right? Is he attracted to me?
I was in a bind and had to do something that I would never have done normally. The friend whom I came with had to leave and I really didn't want to leave, so I asked him if he would mind driving me home. I was so bold......wow, if he only knew how bizzare this all was for me. Taking a liking to someone is one thing but actually finding yourself being driven home by him is another.
Well, I guess I did not make too much of a boob of myself. When we got to my house he asked me what I was doing tomorrow night.....tomorrow night!......can you believe it? We exchanged phone numbers and are going to a movie tomorrow night...............dreams do come true.........I am so excited and yet so nervous............my crush...........who knew????????

Part 7:
Just reread my post from last night. I still can't believe that he asked me to a movie, but I am thrilled. I really know so little about him and want to take time getting to know him. The fact that he lives here on the island is a plus because there is so much outdoor stuff to do.
I am getting back to running today. I want to get back the confidence that I had before the winter laziness crept in.
Gotta tidy the house today.....and do laundry and all those weekend things Mums do. It will keep me busy and time will fly.........take it slow, take it slow..........my new mantra.

Part 8:

He picked me up for the movie and we had coffee and cake before as we were a bit early. I wish I were not so nervous.....that can't last. The movie was very funny...."Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy". I recommend it for a good laugh. The robot steals the show. Alan Rickman, the man who plays "Snape" in the Harry Potter films is the voice of the robot "Marvin".

Part 9:

As I spend more time with this man I find my definition of him changing from that of "crush" to "Friend"...and as my feelings change I don't have the same need to report on what I hope will grow into something deeper.
We spent a delightful hour and a half sitting in the sun chatting over coffee. He has charmed me with his easy laugh and quick mind. I hope that he grows to feel the same about me.
So, now that he is a friend and not my just my "crush"....I will end this part of my blog.....hmmmm where to go next? Cheers.

Spamalot!!

Couldn't afford tickets to the Broadway show, as much as I would love to mortgage my house, I have to think of the children! So, I just pre-ordered the original soundtrack for the show. Tim Curry, David Hyde-Pierce and Hank Azarian.....What a cast. Maybe I will be rice when and if they bring it to Boston. For now I will have to settle for the CD and learn every song by heart. Such light hearted fare in an overly serious world.
Has everyone seen the movie "Life of Brian"? It is the story of a child, Brian, born the same night as Jesus. His life parallels that of the other guy and it is a fun look at how ridiculous religion is and how people will follow anyone if it takes the responsibility for their lives from them. The end scene where Brian is crucified really caused problems when it first came out. The Monty Python team weathered the storm of controversy and the film is still fresh after all these years. They were brave enough to poke fun at religion and hopefully make people think.
If you are reading this and want the soundtrack, you can order it from Barnes and Noble. The release date is May 3.

A league of our own.

I have lived in America for almost 25 years now and tonight was the first time that I have played baseball.....and it was fun. About 40 women got together to start a league. Some of the ladies have played through high school and college. Some have not played in years but follow the game. I am the only one who is totally new but everyone was helpful and I got three pretty good hits.....and I ran too. It will be a fun group to spend summer evenings with.....although I don't think that some of them are 21 yet so can't join us at the pub afterwards.
So, here I am at 42 out there screaming and whooping it up with a bunch of housewives and bank tellers, (we live on a small island and may not know one anothers names but we have all had dealings with one another in some way over the years.) school teachers, store clerks and nurses. I am learning a new sport and loving it. What a great life.

Back to work.

As my friend Dave would say.....I am off to renew my personal relationship with the economy. I have organised my life so that I do not work on Mondays......very clever of me indeed. Everyone should be allowed a three day weekend. I get more done on Mondays then on the weekends as it is.
We have another sunny but cool day here on the East Coast. My three boys are fed and off to school. Laundry is in and the dog is out. I have to be at work at 9am so will get on with the other morning things we all have to deal with............must remember it is trash night.........forgot last week......oops.
Thanks to all the people who have emailed me after my requests for help getting things onto my page. What a fun community we have here. Thanks Peggy for showing me this outlet.
Cheers.

Rumi......Poetry.

I start our on this road, call it
love or emptiness. I only know what's

not here: resentment seeds, back-
scratching greed, worrying about out

come, fear or people. When a bird gets
free, it doesn't go back for remnants

left on the bottom of the cage! Close
by, I'm rain. Far off, a cloud of fire.

I seem restless, but I am deeply at ease.
Branches tremble; the roots are still.

I am a universe in a handful of dirt,
whole when totally demolished. Talk

about choices does not apply to me.
While intelligence considers options,

I am somewhere lost in the wind.

Rumi

My lunch with C.Y.sr.

I have spent an amazing afternoon with the father of a friend of mine. He is in his early 80's, slightly hard of hearing but still sharp and very interesting.
We went to a restaurant on a golf course, my choice. I thought that it would not be overly noisy and so easier for him to hear. A good choice as the tables are not on top of each other like at some eateries, and the view was lovely. We had a window table where a bird feeder had been set up outside, I have to look up one of the birds we saw.....A red "T" on it's chest, white and black, the size of a towhee.
Lunch was simple, not overwhelming, and well proportioned. We started with a conversation about relationships. Why they work and why they don't. He was curious about my marriage and why I feel it didn't work. I told him how my first husband and I still love each other and see each other often. Communication, I explained, was the problem with us. I am a talker, I like to work things out verbally and do not like to fight. He neither talked nor faught and so nothing was ever resolved and there was no growth. My friend said he thought that I was a confident, remarkable young woman......I had to admit that in reality I am "jello" inside alot of the time, I just make myself do whatever needs to be done.
We drove around after lunch continuing our chat. I feel so alive after spending time with this wise man. I wish my Dad lived closer, I miss him in my life. My children could learn so much from him. I don't think we put enough stock in our elders and it shows in our relationships. It is like everyone is trying to invent the wheel, when all we need to do is learn from the people who have already learned how to make one.
The kids are home now and I'll be chained to the stove for a bit, so off I go.

Photo finish.

I was not going to add photos to my Blog but after looking at so many other blogs I decided to do it. The Blogs I read with interest were the ones that had a photo. I thought it made it more interesting to see who was writing.
Of course, the photos I saw on other sites could have been fakes....put on by the naked-drooling-nasty- anonymous- web- creeps we have all been told are out there...........hey, but then again....so could mine. I guess trust is a part of this new Blognology. (Look Mr. Webster, a new word.)
So, it is time for a movie and then to bed to read. I am reading "Hippopotomus" by Stephen Fry. Think I'll watch "Dopamine" again. I like the premise of this movie. Will review it later. Hey, movie reviews.....what a good idea for me to put in my blogs......whoopie this is fun.

By Jove! I think she's got it!

I am back. Found the http: thingie and worked out how to get back to my page. I am exhausted with all the travel today.
I gave my sister my site info. She hears me ramble on the phone, so this is probably the last thing she needs to look at!
Guess it's a good a time as any to take the dog to the beach. The sun is finally out and the wind has died down.
Cheers...

Couldn't find my way back.

I finished setting up my very own Blog and went to email to tell a friend but now I can't work out how to get back here once I leave. I am trying to find out how to dierect people to my Blog but am having no luck. Bloody 'puter stuff......I keep being lead in ever more interesting circles around other Blogs.....fun but frustrating.

Now I am hungry. Just saw the "FeralCow" blog.....yummy. Now there is a man who can cook.

Off again to see about navigating the site.

Sunday musings.

Just back from a trip to Blog World. I am new to this form of communication but am catching on quickly. Reading other Blogs I realise that 'anything goes'. Some rant and rave, it is fun to see that others have the same miseries. Some wax poetic, nice to know that I am not the only hopeful romantic out there. Some are matter of fact and log in their days in great detail....not so stimulating, but interesting in a 'human studies' sort of way. I still don't know what form mine will take. Probably a little of each.
A friend just came by and did a Bowlin treatment on me....(no, not balls and pins type......not sure how to spell it.....touch therapy thingie, rather like Raiki.)
Anywho, she tweeked my back here and pulled my foot there. I felt a bit light headed as I got up but my back is really much more relaxed and not as stiff and painful as it was.

NOTE TO SELF AND ALL OTHERS OVER 40.....TRAMPOLINES ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS.!!!!!!!
I was showing off three years ago on a trampoline when I began to feel like a bowl of Rice Crispies. My lower back snapped, crackled and popped......no milk needed. I was in agony, and have paid for my folly ever since. "Hubris" you say......oh yes! Not only was my pride hurt, the whole bloody wild kingdom was writhing. So let my antics be a warning to all you former gymnasts....our bodies are not as flexible as they were!!!!

The sun is out for the first time today. Isn't the smell of sunshine on wet grass in the "it's great to be alive" category?